Attachments
by Electric Splatter
Summary: Even if her father's logic had been twisted that day, he was right about one thing: attachments were a bad thing. Shikmaru/Temari. Rated T for strong language, mild suggestive themes, and a whole lot of commitment issues. TwoShot.
1. Part I

_**AN: **_I don't own Naruto! This is the third installment in my Shikamaru and Temari stories. They're not really true sequels, but if you're like me and need to read things in chronological order or else, Near Death Experiences and Not Your Average Relationship come first. Happy reading!

Rated T: for strong language, mild suggestive themes, and a whole lot of commitment issues.

**Attachments**

_-Even if her father's logic had been twisted that day, he was right about one thing: attachments were a bad thing.-_

Temari barreled through the forest leading to Konoha at top speed. Her feet pounded into the branches below her from her reckless, violent pace. She was leaving indents in the branches with all the pressure she was exerting. Not that she paid any attention in her rage. She continued her noisy rampage, despite the fact that if someone heard her she was as good as dead.

Temari was blind to any intelligent thought in her fury. Let someone try and attack her; she'd beat them into oblivion.

Sweat glistened on her forehead from exertion. She was out of breath and her lungs were screaming, begging for more air. She'd been traveling like this nonstop since she left Suna. In a normal situation she would have passed out from exhaustion by now, but her rage acted like a stimulant, pushing her on past her limits.

She kept repeating the same thing over and over in her head like a mantra.

_I'm going to kill him. I'm going to break all of his limbs one by one. And his nose. And a couple of ribs. Then I'm going to smash his stupid pineapple head into the ground. I am going to __**kill**_ _him._

Her foot slammed into the next branch so hard that it broke off with a loud snap and fell to the forest floor. Temari didn't even look, she just continued on towards her destination, continuing her endless stream of death threats.

_Shikamaru Nara was a dead man._

* * *

It was late evening by the time she reached the village. She stopped long enough at the gate to assure them she wasn't an enemy and didn't need to be imprisoned for showing up in the middle of the night panting like a mad woman.

It took a bit longer than she would have liked, but she couldn't blame the guards for being alarmed. She looked more than a little crazy. Her hair was a mess of leaves and sweat. Her four ponytails were all falling out and her face was smeared with dirt from her journey. Her clothes weren't much better, covered with rips and stains. Not to mention the grim, haunted look that had been on her face for days.

She knew how to handle situations like this though. She'd been trained in persuasion her whole life, being the daughter to the former Kazekage and sister to the current. A few carefully worded sentences were all it took for the guards to be eating out of the palms of her hands and signing her papers.

_Suckers, _she thought to herself inwardly smirking.

Then she was on her way again, unable to stop until she reached her target.

She tore through the streets quickly, having learned her way around the numerous times she'd been there. It was silent as she made her way through the village, too late for anyone to be out.

Good, she didn't want to stop and make useless small talk right now. She'd probably smack someone if they tried to speak to her anyway. She was too busy to deal with other people's shit. She had her own shit to figure out.

She practically melted into the ground in exhaustion when she finally reached her destination. She then remembered her purpose and let her determination propel her on. Her rage returned and she made her way towards the building.

Temari arrived at the door and took a moment to collect her thoughts. Her anger resurging with a harsh cry, she launched herself at the door in a devastating kick, bringing the door and it's frame down.

Stepping over the now useless door, she entered the apartment clenching her fists in anticipation. She heard footsteps and whipped her head towards the sound.

"Temari?" questioned Shikamaru coming into the room and observing her and his now broken door. "I thought I gave you a key to avoid this sort of thing."

"YOU BASTARD!" exploded Temari her eyes blazing with rage. She surged forward and slammed her fist into his stomach, catching him off guard and sending him flying backwards. He hit the wall behind him and fell to the ground.

"What the hell, Temari?" asked Shikamaru holding his stomach and struggling to his feet.

"YOU GOD DAMN IDIOT!" Temari yelled, this time swinging her leg and landing a harsh blow to his left side that sent him across the room.

He looked up at her trying to figure out what was going on. Her face was red and he'd never seen her look angrier, and she wasn't exactly known for her excellent temper.

"What's going on?" asked Shikamaru his eyes desperately searching hers for an answer. He cautiously moved closer to her, not desiring another injury. She wasn't holding anything back.

"You know what's going on! You useless piece of trash!"

He ignored her shouts and continued to approach her, noticing her grimy appearance. What the hell had she been doing?

"Don't come any closer or I will annihilate you, Nara," threatened Temari snarling as she said his name. She crossed her arms and gave him a piercing glare.

He figured she probably wasn't kidding and decided not to push it. He stayed where he was and tried to analyze the situation. She looked like she was about to pass out from exhaustion and barely holding it together.

"If I stay where I am will you explain yourself? What are you even doing here?" asked Shikamaru with obvious confusion. "Shit, Temari, you look like you should be in the hospital," he added with concern in his voice.

"You know what this is about," responded Temari coldly, locking eyes with him. "And don't act like you don't. This is about you being a moron and trying to get yourself killed."

"This is about the Akatsuki, isn't it?" Shikamaru asked understanding washing over his features.

"What were you thinking? You're lucky to be alive right now! These aren't your ordinary enemies, Shikamaru!" shouted Temari storming over to him and stopping a couple feet away. "I thought you were supposed to be smart."

"I know they're not ordinary. You think I don't know that?" asked Shikamaru getting angry as well. "They killed Asuma, and I was there. I know they're strong."

"Yet you were stupid enough to go after them in the first place," retorted Temari venomously. "Then when you somehow make it out alive, you go after them again!"

"I had too. I owed it to Asuma to kill the bastards," answered Shikamaru his voice void of emotion.

"Oh, of course you did. That was a fucking fantastic idea. Revenge is always great. I'm sure Asuma would have appreciated it if you got yourself killed defending his "honor"," said Temari, voice dripping with sarcasm and rolling her eyes. "Who are you, freaking Uchiha?"

"Don't you ever compare me to him," said Shikamaru in a low voice, his eyes darkening in rage.

"Then don't act like him," bit back Temari just as mad and moving closer so they were about six inches from each other, both glaring heatedly.

"What are you so mad about? I'm fine," said Shikamaru with a scowl.

"Really, Mr. Huge bags under your eyes, skin and bones, reeks like cigarettes? I'm convinced," scoffed Temari.

"Why shouldn't I be able to go after the Akatsuki? You don't control me. It's not like I'm totally defenseless. I'm not that scared little chūnin you had to rescue from the forest anymore. I can take care of myself," declared Shikamaru.

"Don't you fucking get it?" demanded Temari impatiently. "These aren't normal people. They already almost killed both of my brothers! In fact, they did kill Gaara. If it weren't for Chiyo he'd be dead. And he's the Kazekage. He's the strongest ninja in our whole village and they killed him. I don't care how much stronger you've gotten, you're not ready for people like that."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm alive. I handled it."

"Were you even going to tell me about it? I had to find out from fucking Ino! Do you know what the letter she sent to me said?" asked Temari before reaching inside her torn kimono and pulling out a tattered piece of paper.

"'Dear Temari, I know that we're not all that close, but I need your help. I'm worried about Shikamaru. I know he's probably told you about his two encounters with the Akatsuki and how we lost Asuma. He seems to be taking his death the hardest though. I don't know what to do. He's unreachable, and even Chōji can't get him to talk. I figured if there were anyone who could do something, it would be you. So, will you please consider talking to him? It would really mean a lot to me and to him too I'm sure. Thanks, Ino.'"

"How about that? Your little friend was way off though. She thinks we're close or something and that you would tell me about this," said Temari throwing the letter aside and giving him another dirty look.

"It's not like almost dying is out of the ordinary for us. We're ninjas. I'm sure you go on dangerous missions where you almost die all the time," retorted Shikamaru. "You don't contact me to tell me about it."

"This is different," insisted Temari.

"It isn't really though. I mean it was more dangerous than most missions, but other people have died on simpler ones," replied Shikamaru using logic to fight back. "I've never written you to tell you I'm going on a missions and vice versa. In fact, we've never written to each other ever. It doesn't make sense that I would have about this."

"Well I never go after Akatsuki members. Twice," snapped Temari.

"Even if you did I doubt you would have told me about it. Danger is expected in our profession."

"You don't think it would have mattered to me that you were going after the people who almost killed both my brothers and practically destroyed my family?"

"I didn't even think about it. I'd heard from others that your brothers almost died, but never from you. We never talk about stuff like that," answered Shikamaru.

"Maybe I should just go after the Akatsuki," challenged Temari, crossing her arms. "I bet I could take down at least a couple before I died. If anyone deserves revenge on them, it should be me."

"That's not funny, Temari," said Shikamaru coldly.

"I'm not trying to be funny. I'm merely planning out loud. I bet Kankurō would help me; he's still not over getting beaten the first time. And he would want revenge over what they did to Gaara too. I'm sure Gaara would love to help to, but he can't leave the village being the Kazekage. Who else could help? I bet I convince Baki to. He's always been very loyal. I'd need a fourth then," continued Temari despite the glare she was receiving. "Matsuri will have to do. She's improved enough and is the closest I'll be able to get to a medical ninja. She's head over heels for Gaara and would love a chance to take down the people who almost killed him. I've got my squad picked then. I'll have Kankurō send you a letter or something if I die. I'm sure it'll be quick and painless. The Akatsuki don't seem like the type to fool around. Then again, you never know. There could be torture, beating-"

"Stop it," interrupted Shikamaru angrily. "What do you want me to say? I'm not going to apologize for anything. There's nothing to apologize for. I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this."

"It is a big deal! I don't understand why you don't think it's one," answered Temari with just as much rage.

"Why is it?"

"Because I could have lost you!" blurted Temari without thinking. Her eyes widened in horror after she realized what she said. She'd crossed the line. They didn't do emotional; _she _didn't do emotional.

"That's why?" asked Shikamaru in a much quieter voice, reaching forward to cup her face and forcing her to look at him. Her eyes shone with tears that she refused to let fall.

"I'm fine," whispered Shikamaru stroking her cheek with his hand. "You're not going to lose me.

"You can't promise that," choked out Temari, still determined not to cry. "Neither of us can promise that."

"You're right, we can't," answered Shikamaru softly, lowering his hands to her waist and pulling her to him.

She wrapped her arms around him carefully. She'd never realized how fragile he was before. She'd never realized how fragile they were before. Slowly she pulled his face down so she could kiss him gently.

"I want you," whispered Temari when their lips parted. "All of you." _Before it's too late, _she added mentally.

He observed her for a few moments before answering. "Are you sure?" he asked seriously.

"Yes," she answered, pulling away from him and intertwining their hands. "I'm sure."

Somewhere in the back of her mind her subconscious was trying to warn her that this was a bad idea. She chose to ignore the feeling though and led the boy in front of her to his bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

* * *

Temari stared at the ceiling above her as she had been doing for the past hour. _What have I done?_ she asked herself for about the hundredth time.

Shikamaru was fast asleep beside her, his arm wrapped around her waist loosely. She fought the urge to rip it off of her.

This was a mistake, a big one. She was smarter than this. How could she have been so fucking stupid? She'd dropped everything and left her village without permission. She'd run without stopping for two days. Add what she'd just done to the list and she could just scream in frustration with herself.

She was better than this. She'd been trained to be better than this. Her village had taught her not to let her emotions run her life.

All of a sudden, a flashback of her father came to her.

* * *

It was about ten years ago. She was only nine, still naïve enough to still have some faith in the world. Her and Kankurō had been sparring out in the back yard. They'd done that a lot when they were kids.

It had developed into a fight as it usually did. He was only seven and clumsy with his movements. They were arguing because she had been winning and he was starting to make up ridiculous rules. He said that she wasn't allowed to use kicking because she was a girl, and girls didn't kick.

In retaliation she'd picked up a clump of sand and threw it into his face. His little face had scrunched up in pain. It was before he'd started using paint. He'd been a cute kid back then.

"Temari!" shouted her brother, still spitting sand out of his mouth. "That's cheating!"

"You should always pay attention to your surroundings in case they can be used as a weapon," she had replied smirking, sticking her tongue out at him.

"I'm going to destroy you!" threatened Kankurō, leaping up with determination. Then he suddenly stopped and all the playfulness left his eyes. "Father?" he questioned in confusion looking past her.

A tall figure appeared from behind them. He approached them slowly, unsmiling as always. This was rare; the Kazekage usually never paid attention to them. He'd stopped being interested in them around the time Gaara was born.

"Temari, Kankurō, come with me," instructed their father in his strong, commanding voice. "I have something to discuss with the two of you."

She and Kankurō shared a confused look before scrambling after him. Unexpected or not, he was the Kazekage: you did what he said. They followed him into the house in silence. Her and Kankurō had walked close to each other. They were both nervous and took comfort in the other's presence.

The Kazekage opened the door to his study and entered. She'd grabbed her brother's hand and gave it a quick squeeze before letting go and following after him.

Her father was sitting behind his desk studying them with his arms crossed. She quickly sat down in one of the two chairs that sat in front of the desk. Her heart was beating quickly and her palms were sweaty. She kept her face void of emotion though. She was a ninja, well a ninja in training, and ninja were not supposed to show weakness. She noticed her brother taking the chair next to her. His face was calm as well, but she could see his hands were trembling.

"I've called you in here because you two are getting to the age where you're old enough that you actions will start reflecting upon me. I will not have you disgracing me. It is time I taught you the ways of world," started the Kazekage giving them each a long look. "Your progress up to this point physically has been adequate. Temari, you're in the top of your age group." Her heart had soared with pride at that. "It's very impressive despite your gender." Her good feelings hadn't lasted long. "Kankurō, while you still lack grace and finesse, your power is to be commended. I would expect no less from a son of mine."

"Your emotional strength, however, is pathetic," declared her father in disgust. "You're not children anymore, so stop acting like them. You need to appear strong, no matter what you're facing. The time for tears and whining is over. The next time I hear one of you is making a scene, you will wish you hadn't. Understood?"

She had given a quick nod. She wasn't going to step out of line ever again. She wasn't interested in finding out what her father meant about wishing she hadn't. Her brother let out a shaky, "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now for the most important lesson of all," said the Kazekage leaning back in his chair and looking off in the distance. "In this world, you'll learn that people are naturally selfish. They look out for one person and one person only, themselves. Nothing is done without some sort of personal gain or reward. People will lie and manipulate anyone to achieve their goals."

"Being my children, people will try and take advantage of you," continued her father, returning his gaze to her and her brother. "You must always be aware of this. Any kindness you are shown, any favors you are given; they will all come with a price. Do not let yourselves be fooled into thinking these people are your friends. Everyone will try and use you to try and influence you, to try and influence me. Because of who you are, you must realize this and deal with the consequences. You're in a position of power, and have to be smarter than your opponents."

"So how do you combat the tricks of others to try and brainwash you?" asked the Kazekage with a smirk. "It's easy really, you just have to follow one simple rule."

_One simple rule? What one rule could she use to protect herself from everyone? _she'd wondered frantically as her father paused in his speech.

"Never form attachments. They will only lead to suffering. If you are attached to people, others can use those attachments to their advantage. But if you are never attached to anyone, no one can harm you."

She'd listened to his words and they'd made perfect sense. She was never going to get attached to anyone! She wasn't going to let herself be controlled.

"Now leave me," commanded her father. "I have things to do. But remember what I've said. You're dismissed."

She rose to her feet and exited the room quickly with her brother right behind her. Her head was swimming with all the new information. She'd gone straight to her room and searched for a kunai. Taking the blade, she'd carved the rule into her wall.

She took a step back and admired her work. The wall now read, "NEVER FORM ATTACHMENTS" in large letters. This was her father's most important message; she didn't ever want to forget.

* * *

Even if her father's logic had been twisted back then, he'd been right about one thing: attachments were a bad thing. If she hadn't been so attached to Shikamaru none of this would have happened.

Now here she was, in bed with a foreign shinobi. She hadn't expected it to go like this. She had figured this was just something to do when she was in Konoha. She never bargained she would have had a mental breakdown and ran across a couple of countries just because he had been in danger.

This was all such a mess. Her loyalties were all mixed up. She'd abandoned her village to come here. Gaara was going to pissed. She'd left without even telling him.

How could she fix this? This needed to stop. She couldn't handle it. It wasn't safe.

Unfortunately, her father had never told her what to do if she was already attached.

Temari slowly eased out from under Shikamaru's grip and got out of the bed. She'd made up her mind as she put on her scattered clothing. She exited the room as quietly as she could and proceeded to make her way out of the apartment.

She hurried to her destination and barged in the door. "I need to see the Hokage. Now," commanded Temari to the stunned, half-awake Shizune.

If she didn't want attachments, she'd just have to break them.

* * *

Shikamaru woke up to sunlight streaming into his face. That was strange; he usually shut his curtains. Then the events of last night came back to him. His face shifted into a small smirk. He looked around, but Temari was nowhere in sight.

He let out a sigh and shuffled out of bed. He got dressed and set out to search for Temari. She wasn't anywhere in the apartment. He was starting to get a bad feeling about this. He shook it off and left the building.

It was still too early for many people to be out. He had no idea where Temari could be. He set off towards the place where she usually stayed when she was here.

He checked the apartment, but there was no sign of her. He was starting to worry a little. He looked around the streets for half an hour with no luck.

His worry was starting to change to irritation. Was it that hard to let someone to know where you were going? Especially if you had been sleeping in the same bed.

He passed by the gates and was surprised to see her there, leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, still in the clothes she'd shown up in yesterday.

"Where were you?" asked Shikamaru in an annoyed tone as he approached her.

"I figured you'd show up here eventually," responded Temari with a smile that didn't quite look right. "I was taking care of some business."

"The kind of business that needs to be taken care of before dawn?" questioned Shikamaru sarcastically.

"I was meeting with the Hokage. I was informing her of my resignation as the ambassador between Suna and Konoha," said Temari not meeting his eyes.

Her resignation? What the hell?

"What are you talking about?"

"It's something I've been thinking about for a while. When we first entered this alliance, I understood why they chose me for the job. They were fragile times, and they needed someone important to be the liaison. I was a natural choice being the Kazekage's sister, a jōnin, and trained in diplomacy my whole life. But now that the alliance is stable, they don't need me anymore."

"What are you saying?" asked Shikamaru slowly.

"For the past months I've only been doing average chūnin missions because I couldn't jeopardize my position. If I had gotten killed or injured there'd have been no ambassador. I'm sick of holding myself back. I'm a jōnin. I could be doing so much more for my village. Our countries are not going to be at war anytime soon. Anyone above chūnin level from Suna could handle the ambassador position. Therefore I'm resigning."

"And you were going to inform me of this when?" questioned Shikamaru in a low voice.

"I wasn't sure of my decision until now. It was actually you going after the Akatsuki that finalized it. You were off doing important things while I was sitting here and twiddling my thumbs, talking about exports and food supplies. It made me reevaluate things. I don't want to waste my time on trivial things anymore."

Temari shuffled looking uncomfortable. "We're going to have to end our arrangement."

Our arrangement? That's what she's referring to it as?

"It wouldn't work out now that I've quit being the ambassador. I doubt we'll even see each other again. So I'd like to part as friends," continued Temari in a businesslike tone.

"That's it? You don't even care?" demanded Shikamaru with a glare. "What the fuck, Temari? You think you can just pull this let's part as friends shit and I'll be fine with it?"

"Stop making a scene," hissed Temari. "There's nothing that can be done about it, so why bother getting all worked up? We knew this wasn't going to last anyway. It's probably better to end it sooner."

"That's not how you seemed to feel last night," replied Shikamaru coldly.

"Stop being such a child," commanded Temari narrowing her eyes at him. "I thought we could end this amicably because we were both mature adults, but I guess I was wrong. I forget that the emotional training in your village is shit."

Ouch, that was a low blow.

"At least our village doesn't train you to be a coldhearted bitch," snapped Shikamaru.

Temari just looked at him for a long moment. "I'm not going to stand here and argue with you. If that's how you're going to be, I'll just leave." She got up off the wall and set of towards the gate.

"Don't go."

He didn't care how mad he was at her. The thought of never seeing her again, of losing her, it was too much.

She turned around to face him. The look on her face was a mixture of pity and something he couldn't figure out.

"Please don't go," he said again desperately.

"I'm sorry. I want to go," answered Temari with a sad smile before turning back around and continuing on her way.

He watched her leave in a frozen daze. He was racking his brains for something, anything he could do to stop this. There had to be a solution to this. His stomach clenched painfully and he wanted to hit something.

"Have a nice life," called Temari over her shoulder before taking off in a run.

He stared at the spot where she had been for a long time. He'd just lost Asuma, and now this? What was he supposed to do now?

He'd loved her. They didn't say things like that, but he'd thought it had been obvious. She didn't want them to say things like that.

Maybe he should have paid more attention. He should have noticed how she always kept him at arms length. Had she just been toying with him this whole time?

It was just too much. He couldn't deal with this; it was way too much for his brain to handle.

He slowly made his way down the street. He had no idea where he was going; his body was on autopilot. He stopped when he recognized the familiar place. He walked up to the door and knocked. He didn't know what to expect. It was still pretty early for anyone to be up.

"Shikamaru?" asked Chōji as he opened the door. "What are you doing here? Are you okay? You don't look so good."

"You busy?"

"What did you have in mind?" asked Chōji, not affected by what time it was or how strange Shikamaru was acting.

"Sitting on a rooftop, watching clouds and eating chips with my best friend."

"Sounds good to me," replied Chōji with a smile and following his longtime friend down the street.

Chōji might not know what was going on, but Shikamaru needed him right now. So he would be there, with chips and companionship. If he wanted to talk, they could talk. If not, he wouldn't push it.

"Hey, Chōji?" asked Shikamaru after they'd been sitting there for a while.

"Yeah?" answered Chōji.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

Temari sat at the base of a large tree, her head resting on her legs. She was exhausted. She'd run straight to Konoha and hadn't rested once. It was a lot for her body to handle.

_Okay. I will give myself one hour. One hour to be emotional. Then I will get up, return to Suna, and act like none of this ever happened._

With that decided, Temari let out the tears she'd locked away with her willpower. They streamed down her face freely and she was sobbing in the middle of the forest by herself.

It wasn't just Shikamaru she was crying over. She wasn't that much of a lovesick fool. It was everything. Her whole life was a mess right now. The fact that she had practically betrayed her village to rush here, and the only reason she'd get away with it was because of who she was. The fact that she'd rushed here at all. The fact that she had someone she cared about enough to rush here for and she'd just told him he meant nothing to her. She'd become someone she'd swore she'd never be: someone who made their decisions based on others.

She needed to start over. No, she _was _going to start over. She was Temari, Wind Mistress of the Sand, daughter of the Fourth Kazekage and sister to the current, first-class jōnin. Nothing was going to stop her.

This time she was going to do things right. She was going to train hard, harder than ever before. She was going to become the strongest kunoichi Sunagakure had ever seen. She was going to spend time with her brothers. She was going to become a part of the village again, not torn between two.

With these thoughts she wiped her tears and stood up, brushing the dirt off her clothes. She set off towards Suna confidently, with her head held high.

And this time, she wasn't going to form any attachments.

_**AN: **_End of Part 1. This turned out a lot longer than expected. I didn't even know I was going to have the huge flashback in there, but that really wrote itself. Not going to lie, this is way more angsty than anything I've ever written. So tell me your thoughts, questions, comments, concerns! I love to hear 'em! Part 2 will be coming soon.


	2. Part II

_**AN: **_Still don't own Naruto.

Special shout out of thanks to julia-reads, Rose-Aki, OtakuMaya, maudlinprincess, and Guest(whoever you are) for their reviews of Part I. You guys make this worth it. Super shout out to MarijaV for a review _and _a favorite. I appreciate all of you immensely.

If you were expecting some sort of happy ending, you should look elsewhere.

**Attachments: Part II**

Shikamaru would like to say he didn't think about her.

He'd like to, but that would be a lie. Despite his efforts not to, he found himself thinking about her a lot more than he'd like to.

His friends had a variety of reactions to their "breakup", if you could even call it that. He'd invited all of his close friends to the barbeque restaurant that his team had always gone to in their genin years. He figured it'd be easier to tell them all at once and get it over with.

He'd simply told them what she'd told him, that she was resigning so she could start doing real missions. She was sick of doing work that was beneath her skill level. She had left and was never coming back. After that sunk in, everyone had an opinion to share.

Ino went ballistic. She started threatening to march to Suna herself and beat some sense into her. She went on and on about how he deserved someone so much better, how she was cruel and beneath him. Ino offered to set him up with the perfect girl for him, someone pretty and nice. She then proceeded to give a ten-minute speech on all of Temari's faults, including her attitude, her tomboyish looks, and her lack of empathy of any sort. It ended with, "I should have known she was trouble from her hairstyle alone." After that she left saying she was out to find him the perfect woman.

Kiba had told him that it was a damn shame because she was smoking hot. He said the best way to get over her was to get under someone else equally as hot. He even had a few ideas in mind of people he could hook up with. He acknowledged it was going to be pretty tough to get someone hotter than her. He then started talking about the many reasons why she was hot: her legs, her hips, her ass. At this point Sakura punched him in the face, and he stopped partaking in the discussion seeing as he was unconscious.

Naruto advised him that the best remedy for a broken heart was training and a bowl of ramen. He offered to be his training partner until he got over her. He then remembered he was supposed to be meeting Sai for training right then and took off out of the restaurant at full speed.

Sakura had given him a sympathetic smile and said she was sorry, she had thought they made a nice couple. She wished him luck and said that if he ever needed to talk, she was available. He thought the gesture was nice, but talking to the girl who had spent most of her life pining after Sasuke Uchiha about his feelings didn't really appeal to him.

Chōji had merely told him he was allowed to have the last piece of meat, just this once. He had appreciated this the most out of all of his friends' attempts to cheer him up.

The other members of the Konoha 11 had given him their two cents as well. Lee had told him to embrace the power of youth and use this emotional blow as motivation to train ever harder. Tenten said she always knew that girl was a bitch. Neji just gave him an apologetic nod. Hinata had stuttered that she would miss her and she was sorry. Shino had said something cryptic about how some bugs don't find their mate on the first tries.

All in all, he can't say any of their advice helped that much, but it was the thought that counted.

True to her word, Ino had set him up with a nice, pretty girl. They had gone out a few times and it was fine. She'd been easy to talk to and very polite. He could think of a million reasons why he should want to date her. They got along well and their chemistry was decent.

The problem was that he was bored. The girl had agreed with everything he said. He missed being able to have a discussion about something. The girl was fine, but she was as dull as watching paint dry.

He went out with other girls too. They just never measured up though. He was always left craving more. After her, the bar was set too high. They were never as smart as her, as fun to talk to as her, and they never understood him like she had.

But really, none of them ever made him feel like he had about her. And he wondered if anyone ever would.

He was pretty sure the universe was laughing at him. It had given him the opposite of everything he'd said he wanted. He had claimed he wanted a plain girl, nothing special. He'd gotten her, beautiful and the most complicated woman he'd ever met.

She'd turned his world upside down. She motivated him to want to try, she made him understand why his father had stayed with his violent mother, and she was worth all the trouble she came with.

Then after he'd realized he was wrong, she was what he wanted, she'd left.

Now he was here, missing everything he'd claimed to hate. He had to appreciate the irony of it all.

It had been hard when Tsunade had sent him to greet the Suna ambassador at the gate and it wasn't her. He had know it wasn't going to be, but seeing a girl who wasn't her waiting for him made it final. She wasn't coming back. Ever.

Things with the new ambassador were different. It was that one girl he had met a long time ago, Gaara's student Matsuri. It wasn't that he didn't like Matsuri; she was easy to get along with and pleasant enough. Matsuri never argued with him or forced him to take her out for meals. She was an average, mild-tempered kunoichi. And that was the problem.

He missed being yelled at for being twelve seconds late. He kept expecting to get hit with a large iron fan when he said something wrong. He wanted someone to play shōgi with and then throw the board across the room if they lost.

If he was being honest with himself, he probably just missed her. But he didn't like to think about that. It was much easier to ignore those feelings.

Another problem with Matsuri is that she brought up her when they talked. She didn't know the subject was taboo. She chatted on and on about how much stronger she'd become and all the tough missions she was going on. It was like a punch in the stomach every time she mentioned her.

His friends knew better than to talk about her. Ino still mentioned her from time to time, usually to insult her, but the others never brought her up. They understood that he didn't like to talk about her. He was grateful for that.

Matsuri apparently hadn't known about their relationship, and he didn't want to tell her about it. At least he knew that she was still alive this way.

He found himself avoiding Matsuri as much as possible though. She was just a reminder of who she wasn't. He considered asking Tsunade if he could resign as the ambassador's escort, but he didn't want her to ask why. Besides he was a ninja and shouldn't avoid his duties because of a pathetic reason like that.

He'd seriously considered it when Matsuri started talking about how she had been dating a lot lately though. Instead he went to the training grounds and took out a couple of trees.

It wasn't like he let what happened affect him. He still went on missions. He still went to the barbeque and had Ino talk his ear off while Chōji ate. He still trained to try and become stronger. He was actually very content most days.

Sometimes he wished he'd never met her. That she had never entered his life at all. But he knew that was a lie too. For all the destruction she caused, she always made his life interesting. There were bad times with her, but the good times made it worth it.

He was fine though. He and his friends were all still alive, and that was all he asked for. Konoha was his home; he shouldn't waste his time brooding over some foreign kunoichi with a heart of stone.

Maybe he was still a little bitter about how she ended it. But while he didn't like to think about her, he really didn't like to think about that. It was hard when you liked to analyze everything, but he couldn't even begin to analyze that. It was an unsolvable puzzle.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to see her again. He didn't know what he would say, if he would even say anything. Maybe it was best that he never saw her again. It might just confuse him more, if that was possible.

As first relationships go, it probably wasn't a typical one. But that's what he got for trying to be with an extraordinary girl instead of an ordinary one. Most people go on a few simple dates and get to know each other slowly. They met while trying to figure out the best way to kill or knock they other unconscious.

They had gotten to know each other though. They had actually made a pretty great team. When it was actually serious they were unstoppable in battle. They both had sharp minds and knew how the other operated. He missed having a partner who got him like that. He had Ino and Chōji, but they worked best as a group of three which wasn't always possible.

That was another problem entirely. He hadn't just lost her; he'd lost a friend. Sure, a friend who had been a little trying at times, but always had been there for him in her own way. She hadn't approved of getting emotional or complaining. She had always given him advice whether he asked for it or not though. It was often harsh and never spared his feelings, but it was always honest and realistic. He missed someone telling him exactly how things were without holding back. He'd trusted her. He knew that was probably a mistake seeing as she was from a different village.

He wasn't stupid enough to think that she was perfect. She had flaws, big ones. She was overconfident, a perfectionist, ruthless, quick-tempered, and struggled to trust anyone. She put her village before everything and everyone. She had no problem hurting others to achieve her goals.

He couldn't bring himself to think that she was a bad person despite all of that though. She was just as messed up as anyone else. She had good points as well. She was passionate, intelligent, understanding, and never gave up. He admired her determination and strength. She also cared about people. She pretended she didn't; it went against her image as indestructible. But you could tell by the way she defended her brothers whenever anyone said something negative about them, the way she protected her teammates without hesitation, or the way she had worked her ass off as the ambassador to try and make an alliance that would hold so there wouldn't be a war.

She was a mystery to him. That was one of the things that had drawn him to her in the first place. All of the girls he'd met before him had been the same. She was different. At first he had thought she was different in a horrible, awful way and should be avoided at all costs. Then he liked that she was different, which led to him liking her, which led to him being in the situation he was in now.

The thing that he couldn't understand the most though was how it ended. It'd been so sudden and unexpected. She'd shown up with no warning, attacked him, broke down telling him she didn't want to lose him, and then the next day she had said she was leaving and never coming back. He couldn't even begin to comprehend any of it.

He really couldn't think about what happened that night. Thinking about her was painful, thinking about missing her was even worse, but thinking about that night wasn't even possible. It was too terrible and spectacular to think about. It had been the best and worst night of his life.

Thinking about the conversation they had before she left was also wasn't an option. If he started thinking about that he started going crazy trying to think of a way he could have gotten her to stay. It was just part of the ever growing list of things he stored in the back of his mind related to her.

Maybe it had been him who had been wrong. She walked away without any trace of sadness or regret. He was still trying to get over her while she was clearly fine.

She had always tried to stop them from getting too emotional. She wasn't looking for a relationship. She had been open about that.

He'd fallen for her anyway though. She'd wormed her way into his heart, and he couldn't seem to push her out.

Maybe he should have paid more attention to how she was always pushing him away. Maybe he should have realized that being with her could only end badly.

He didn't think about her all the time. He went for days, sometimes weeks, where she never even crossed his mind.

Then he'd see something or someone would say something that reminded him of her. And then he wouldn't be able to get her out of his head.

He wondered if it'd ever stop. If someday he would stop feeling anything when he thought about her, if he would find someone that would make him forget about all about her.

But he seriously doubted that would happen.

So for now, he continued on with his life. He continued to serve his village and work on passing the Will of Fire to the next generation.

But he still thought about her more than he'd like to.

Maybe he'd just been too attached.

* * *

Temari did _not_ think about him.

Why would she? She had much better things to think about.

She had been very worried about Gaara's reaction to her unscheduled visit to Konoha and her resignation as ambassador. She knew he was her brother, but he was still her superior and leaving without his approval wasn't okay. She also hadn't asked him if it was okay for her to resign. She had not been looking forward to seeing him when she returned.

The second she entered the village a guard was instantly at her side. He told her she was to report to the Kazekage's office immediately. He then proceeded to escort her there, which had made her plan to sneak off infinitely harder. Her palms had gotten sweaty in anticipation of her little brother's wrath.

She opened to door to his office and found Gaara sitting there with a huge scowl on his face. He motioned for her to come in and she entered, shutting the door behind her. They locked eyes and stared at each other for a long moment. He then looked away and let out a sigh.

He'd asked her if she'd had any idea how worried he'd been about her. She had received a letter from Konoha and then taken off without any warning. He told her he'd been this close to marching over to Konoha himself to find her.

She'd been touched. She had expected him to be angry, not worried. She walked over to his side and gave his shoulder a tight squeeze. She assured him she was okay and apologized for worrying him.

Then Kankurō barged into the room and practically crushed her ribs in his embrace. He scolded her for being such an idiot and leaving without permission. His words were harsh, but she could tell he was relieved by the way he hadn't stopped hugging her yet.

Gaara told him to stop suffocating her, and he quickly let go. Then the atmosphere of the room changed suddenly as Gaara asked her to explain why she'd left and what had happened. She knew he was asking as the Kazekage and not as her brother.

Both her brothers were staring at her expectantly. She told them the abridged version of the story. That she had received Ino's letter, gone to talk to him, realized she wanted to be more than just an ambassador, and had given Tsunade her formal resignation. She left out the parts about her running there nonstop, sleeping with a foreign shinobi, and having a small mental breakdown.

They had both stared at her for a minute after she finished. Kankurō then broke the silence by asking if that stupid leaf ninja had done anything to hurt her because if he had, then he would totally kick his ass.

She had asserted that he had done nothing wrong. Kankurō didn't seem too convinced. He asked why she would want to resign as ambassador when her and the shadow idiot were in a relationship.

She had been stunned. She'd never exactly hidden the fact that something had been going on between them, but she'd never actually told them about it. They'd never brought it up either.

Gaara asked if something had happened between them that had prompted her resignation. She told them she had ended it with him and that was it. He had just been a fling for whenever she was in Konoha.

She couldn't exactly tell them that she made up her mind after sleeping with him.

Kankurō told her she could do much better than him anyway. He was a loser and she needed someone who was as strong as her. He offered to kick his ass anyway. She had told him she was touched, but it wasn't necessary. Satisfied with that, he left the office to return home.

Gaara then gave her a long speech about why it wasn't ever acceptable to leave the village without his permission. He had managed to convince the council to let her off the hook this one time, but it hadn't been easy. He was very disappointed in her actions, and hoped this would never happen again.

She said all the things she was supposed to; that she had been wrong, it would never happen again, and he knew he could trust her. She wasn't going to Konoha again anyway now that she wasn't the ambassador.

Gaara said he approved of her decision to quit, and understood why she wanted to take on missions that suited her skills more. He was giving her a couple of days off to recuperate from all her traveling, and then she would start receiving typical jōnin missions. He already had someone in mind to take her place as the ambassador.

She agreed to his orders and asked if she could go now that everything was taken care of because she was exhausted. Gaara told her she was free to leave.

She made her way towards the door and was about to open it when he asked her if she was sure she was okay because if she wasn't, she could always tell him about it.

She almost broke down and told him everything. Almost. But she had decided to put everything that had happened behind her, it wouldn't help to blubber about it to her little brother.

So with her usual confident smirk she told him she was just fine and went home.

After that she didn't really have anyone else to tell. She wasn't really close with anyone else except Baki and Matsuri. Her sensei wasn't the type to pry in her personal life. And she wasn't the type of girl who felt the need to tell Matsuri about it. Matsuri was more of her work friend then an actual one.

She didn't waste any time after she got home. She immediately did actually what she said she'd do, training to be the strongest kunoichi the world had ever seen. She'd never felt more powerful, and she could only get better.

The missions she went on now were much more challenging. She returned to Suna with more injuries and scars than before, but she'd never felt more alive. She was quickly gaining a reputation as one of the most skilled jōnin around. And she liked it; she liked it a lot.

She didn't think about him when she started seeing other guys. She didn't compare them to him. They hadn't been in a real relationship anyway, so it wasn't a true comparison.

She never stayed with a guy for too long. She usually only went on a couple dates before moving onto the next one. She was young and didn't want to feel tied down. It had nothing to do with him.

She never slept with any of them. She wasn't a slut. The farthest she would go with them was some heavy making out and over the clothes touching. Farther than that would have been wrong because she didn't plan on staying with them.

It wasn't hard to find good companionship. She was a heavily desired kunoichi; she'd just never taken the time to notice before. There was always a new man waiting in the wings after she dumped the last one. It was nice to be wanted.

There wasn't anything wrong with the guys she went out with. They just didn't make her feel, well, enough. Call her a silly romantic, but there was just no spark. And she wouldn't settle for less than extraordinary. So she kept her options open and continued to search for someone who could keep her interested.

She didn't keep in contact with anyone from Konoha. She figured it wasn't a good idea. She wanted a clean break, no messy goodbyes or arguments. One of those had been more than enough for her.

She hadn't really been surprised when Matsuri had received the ambassador position. Matsuri was well qualified and trustworthy. It was a natural fit.

She hadn't bargained on Matsuri coming back from Konoha and trying to talk to her about it. Matsuri asked her a million questions about what it'd been like when she'd been the ambassador. She told her all about meeting all the people she'd known for years.

It had been difficult for her to listen to. She had concentrated on her life in Suna and hadn't allowed herself to miss her old friends. Matsuri bringing them up had made it harder for her to pretend they didn't exist.

And then Matsuri had mentioned him. She had told her all about him being her escort around Konoha. She told her all about how he was a genius, how he was lazy, and how he and his friends acted like they were one big family.

Her heart sank at that, she had once been a welcome part of that family. Now she'd never see them ever again. But she had her real family in Suna, which was better than some fake foreign one anyway.

Matsuri had asked her if she'd ever met him when she was there. She told her that they had run into each other a couple times.

Then Matsuri had mentioned that he had a girlfriend: a nice, decently pretty girl.

She then told Matsuri that she would love to hear more about Konoha, but she had a mission she had to prepare for. Then she proceeded to the training field where she destroyed seventeen wooden posts, twenty-three dummies, and two sections of the fence that surrounded the field.

She didn't care. She was glad he was moving on. It sounded like he was dating the kind of girl he should have in the first place, not that they'd really dated. He was really better suited for the nice, average type.

Why should she care? She was dating other guys. It wasn't like she ever even thought about him.

She wasn't jealous. She simply didn't care to hear about whatever tramp he was taking out. She didn't like gossip, and it didn't interest her.

She wasn't avoiding Matsuri because of him either. She was just a lot busier than she had been before. She didn't have time to discuss Konoha. She was too busy training or doing missions.

Her and Matsuri weren't really that good of friends anyway. She had spent more time with her back when she'd been doing lower level missions. Now she spent most of her time with other jōnin.

She'd thought more about making attachments and decided that not all attachments were necessarily bad. She didn't want to be a hermit her whole life. She was attached to her brothers and nothing had gone wrong because of that.

She just needed to be careful about who she got close to. Foreign shinobi were off limits. That had been one of the biggest mistakes of her life and one that she was never going to repeat.

She started to befriend other ninja from Suna that she was paired up with on missions. She went out with them on her days off and waved when she saw them on the streets. It wasn't like she told any of them her deep dark secrets, but it was something.

This was what she'd wanted. She'd wanted to make a name for herself as a shinobi and reconnect with her village. Her plan was going well.

She had fixed herself emotionally too. What had happened in Konoha was _never _going to happen again. She was back to her confident self. She was unstoppable, mentally and physically.

She'd done the right thing by resigning as ambassador. It was holding her back. She wasn't gaining anything from it. She hadn't gotten anything out of it.

Ending it with him had also been the right decision. It was stupid of them to even begin something in the first place. It was surprising that two intelligent people could have made such a dumb mistake.

Because that's what it was, a mistake. They were from two different worlds. It was never a good idea to mix business with pleasure.

They hadn't even been compatible. They had argued all the time. He was lazy; she was motivated. He liked to take things slow; she wanted to get the job done as fast as possible. They were a never-ending list of contradictions.

She was pretty sure it had been based on mutual physical attraction. That was the only plausible explanation for their shared idiocy. They'd both been motivated by hormones they couldn't control.

Sometimes she wondered what it would be like if she had never met him. She would have avoided the whole messy situation. But their relationship had served the purpose of showing her how important it was to be independent. She wouldn't want to have missed out on that.

She had valued his friendship. He had been a good friend if nothing else.

He had a lot of issues of course. He had no motivation whatsoever. He was always overthinking and over planning everything. He got way too emotionally involved in what he was doing. He was always trying to save everybody, even if they didn't want to be saved.

There had been things about him she'd appreciated as well. His intelligence came in handy, even if he was a pain in the ass about using it. He always gave clear and logical advice. He had been a decent partner to work with. She could always count on him to be there for her when it really mattered.

She thought the way she'd ended it had been the right way to go about things. There was no use in discussing anything. She was leaving, and there had been nothing in the world that could have changed her mind. Perhaps it had been a bit insensitive of her, but she didn't like to beat around the bush. She was honest and clear about how she felt. If he had a problem with that he'd just have to deal with it.

She hoped he didn't have a problem with her. She wanted him to feel the same way about it that she had. She didn't want to have to deal with him still brooding over her. She had let go of him without hesitation, and he should be able to do the same. It wasn't healthy for either of them to cling to the past. She wished he were moving on with his life like she was.

She was one hundred percent sure that she _never _wanted to see him again. It would be pointless. She had nothing left to say to him. It would just be awkward and uncomfortable. If she ever had the unfortunate luck to run into him, she'd just have to avoid him.

She didn't miss him. In order to miss someone, you had to think about that person. And like she said, he never even crossed her mind.

She never thought about the night she resigned either, unless to think about how great a decision it'd been. She didn't think about what had happened before she resigned.

It wasn't even that big of a deal. People had sex all the time without it meaning anything. It didn't fucking mean anything to her. She didn't even have to regret it. Why regret something you don't even care about?

She had no regrets. Everything that she had done had led her to being the person she was today. It was all for the best. This was what she had wanted.

He wasn't even her type anyway. She liked the kind of man who could keep up with her, someone strong and lively. She wanted someone tough and muscular, but understood that she could take care of herself.

He had always struggled with that. He didn't get that she didn't need anyone to rescue her. She rescued others. She wasn't a damsel in distress. It had pissed her off when he thought she was.

Suna was the place for her. She had discovered that when she had been an ambassador. She had had her doubts after everything that had happened with her father and Gaara, but now she understood where she belonged.

It wasn't that Konoha wasn't nice, it was. She just didn't fit in there. Everyone there was too soft and overemotional. Life was tough, you had to get used to it.

Suna wasn't perfect, but neither was she. This place had shaped her, taught her everything she knew. She couldn't turn her back on that. It was where her family was. Suna was home. She was ashamed that she had doubted that.

He had been holding her back. It hadn't been his fault or intentional, but it was true. She had forgotten about what was really important when she was with him. She hadn't made any progress with her life because she was so busy running back and forth between villages. They had been in a toxic relationship.

Not that it had been a real relationship. In a real relationship you didn't have to travel three days to see the other person. People in real relationships didn't go months without seeing each other. In a real relationship you shouldn't have to think about how if it came down to it, you might someday have to kill the other person.

She'd been in real relationships, before and after him. He hadn't been the first person she'd been interested in. She was three years older and had briefly dated others before she had even considered starting something with him.

He'd definitely been her most complicated relationship. That was the word that came to mind when she tried to describe them: complicated. Seeing each other was complicated. Getting along was complicated. Everything about them had been too damn complicated.

She couldn't bring herself to call it her worst relationship though. She should, but she couldn't pretend that once in a while he had made her so happy it was unnatural. Shit, she shouldn't be thinking about that. She should be thinking about how now she could be happy all the time, not just once in a while.

She was happy. She was living her life the way she wanted to. Defending her village, spending time with her brothers, and improving her skills were the things she wanted to be doing. It didn't feel slightly empty.

Maybe she should have been more observant when she'd been with him. If she had realized the road they were going down she could have stopped it sooner. She could have saved them both from wasting their time.

She hadn't called him out for being so emotional all the time. It was just as much her fault as his. It was more hers actually because that's what he was used to.

She'd turned her life around now. She had friends, her family, and she was finally starting to feel like things were going back to normal.

Someday she thinks she might want to be attached to someone. Not anytime soon, she wasn't ready to give up being a shinobi for a long time. But lately she'd been thinking that someday she might want to be with someone like that someday.

For now she didn't want any attachments like that. Her brothers and her friends were fine, but anything more than that was pushing it. She still had way too much she wanted to accomplish, and she didn't want to have anything holding her back.

If she got attached now it might end up like it had with him.

Not that she ever thought about him.

But maybe someday she'd want to be attached like she had been to him.

Maybe. She still wasn't sure about it.

_**AN: **_The end! If you were expecting some sort of happily ever after I'm sorry to disappoint you. It's not that I don't like these two together, I do. They're my favorite pairing.

They just aren't ready to be together in the states they are in their lives in this story, especially Temari. Shikamaru wants to be with her, but he's still a little immature. Temari isn't ready to be with anyone at the moment.

If it wasn't totally obvious Shikamaru is honest throughout his part, but you have to read between the lines during Temari's. She thinks lying to herself will make it easier for her to move on with her life if she says she's totally over what happened. It's a defense mechanism. It was obvious to me, but I wrote it so I think I'm a little biased…

The whole thing where they don't say each other's names was intentional and hopefully not too confusing. It was something that made it seem more personal to me.

As for whether they end up together or not, I'm not done with these two yet. I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

As always, your thoughts, opinions, criticism, concerns, feedback, appreciation, hatred, and love are welcome and encouraged.


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